The Fiver | Seven concepts, a PowerPoint presentation and Alberto Moreno

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The Fiver wouldn’t last five minutes if we had to hold a press conference. A gentle opener from Henry Winter – “Any injury updates, Fiver?” – and we’d be off, pointing out the window and demanding that we settle things on the slabs. It’s a stressful business, talking to the media, especially in a world where dishonesty has become the best policy. It can’t be easy juggling PR, team morale and your own stress levels, all the while knowing there is a special media-training device attached to your genitals that will snap, crackle and pop if you say what you genuinely think. We do, therefore, have a bit of sympathy for Jürgen Klopp, whose easy-going-cool-guy-did-you-know-my-middle-name’s-Norbert-ha-ha-ha mask has slipped a little in recent weeks. He again looked agitated in the buildup to Wednesday’s Big Cup second leg against Bayern Munich, specifically when asked about Gary Neville’s observation that a defeat might help Liverpool in their attempt to win their first title since the year 2BC.

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