The Fiver | Well on the way to completing the first bar of a new P-ditty

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Big Sam has agreed to take charge of Everton, who should note that if you want the full Fiver treatment, featuring all our bangs and whistles, you need to get up early in the morning. Alan Pardew and West Brom got there first. In any case, there’s no point making a big deal over it, he’ll have resigned by Christmas if the last couple of years are anything to go by. “Sam Allardyce will be at Finch Farm this afternoon to finalise terms on becoming the new manager of Everton,” blathered a club suit.

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