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The Fiver | This wholesale destruction of perfectly useful wood

In today’s Fiver: Arsène Wenger, delusional dreams of glory and more

… was sure he was going. Even while everyone else confidently predicted the imminent announcement of a newly-signed two-year contract, we thought he was off. Simply because otherwise, what was the chuffing point? Why, Arsène? In the name of God, why? Months of speculation wasted. Supporters’ fabric paint and spare bedsheets, gone for nothing. Aeroplane fuel burned and fans’ neck muscles needlessly flexed as they craned to see what hashtag variant was being borne skywards this time. Vocal chords uselessly strained in pointless protest. Tears shed in vain. Forests hacked to produce sheets of paper upon which smudgy newsprint could be avoidably inked.

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