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The Fiver | This total lack of anything resembling news

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Today’s hot news features Juventus yawning, stretching a bit and ruling out suggestions that they are going to end Paul Pogba’s uprising at Manchester United by bringing the French midfielder back to Turin. “We love Paul Pogba, we’ve a fantastic relationship with him but we’ve never thought about his return at Juventus and we’re not going to think about it,” drawled a suit at the Italian club, before getting back to drinking a tiny cup of coffee and gesticulating furiously. Sigh. The Fiver thought the Nations League was supposed to stop this sort of thing from happening during the international break. But there you go, old habits die hard, especially when hungry hacks have been waiting in vain for word of Gabriel Jesus burning Riyad Mahrez’s clothes or José Mourinho adopting Scott McTominay.

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