The Fiver | This is Real Madrid so it’ll do till the crisis – or Sunderland – gets here

In today’s Fiver: Real Madrid, Spurs, England and email-perusal on a Megabus

The Fiver knows a crisis when it’s in one: the clock’s ticking towards 4.58pm and you’re scrambling around looking for a Quote of the Day. It’s raining, there’s a hole in your shoe, your trousers are on fire and the bass, synth and digitally delayed guitars of Mr Mister’s Broken Wings is playing on a loop in your head. It gets worse: you discover nobody anywhere has said anything amusing or controversial and your regular go-to guys have been struck dumb with laryngitis. Get well soon, Keysy! Get well soon, Sepp! The Fiver’s rooting for ya, Garth!

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