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The Fiver | The sort of fireworks seldom seen outside of a Rammstein jamboree

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The Fiver has no idea who this Derk Lassiker bloke is but apparently he’s going to be at Tuesday’s big match in Germany, which pits Bayern Munich against the butlers who occasionally nick their silverware, Borussia Dortmund. It’s a must-see clash, all right, so don’t forget to take your nearest and dearest for a cross-country spin beforehand to make sure your eyes are working well enough to watch the action.

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