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The Fiver | The latest instalment of sport’s most ethically pure competition

In today’s Fiver: Monaco, Juventus, snubs in India and snubs in Scotland

There is nothing more amazing than the Gazprom Big Cup, sponsored by Uefa. More than anything, it gives the football world an incredible sense of security and wellbeing; Gazprom are, after all, majority-owned by the Russian government, and there is no body in the world more devoted to integrity, fair play and rollocking good fun than the Russian government. Gosh, The Fiver is choking up here, though that might also be a consequence of light-headedness following a post-prandial balloon of ????????? ??????????? ????????. Either way, nice one Cyrillics.

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