The Fiver | Ten manly men behind the ball

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Poor Frank Lampard. There he was on his flight to Istanbul, ready to settle down and plan his tactics for the Super Pot clash with Liverpool, when he heard tutting from the person behind him. It sounded like familiar tutting and he could feel his stomach tightening. He turned around and, sure enough, the seat was occupied by former football manager José Mourinho, who has made it his business to follow Lampard around in the style of the Harry Enfield character Mr You Don’t Wanna Do It Like That, there to question and correct every decision by Chelsea’s rookie coach, who could only sigh as his old boss leaned over and grabbed his tactical notes.

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