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The Fiver | Taking needlessly self-defeating behaviour to a whole new level

In today’s Fiver: Liverpool’s transfer clodhopping, Diego Costa and more

A shiny bronze pfennig for the thoughts of Jürgen Klopp. The man worked absolute wonders last season to earn Liverpool a place in the Big Cup qualifiers. Just think about it for a minute: a top-four finish, despite a defence featuring a goalkeeper who only finally learned how to punch the ball correctly this March, a teenage striking sensation gone to seed, and Dejan Lovren. Klopp’s reward for turning base metal into gold? The promise of some transfer money for a few upgrades. So he gave sporting director Michael Edwards a list with the names Mohamed Salah, Naby Keïta, Ryan Sessegnon and Virgil van Dijk on it. But on the way to the shops, Edwards dropped the list. Then on the way back, Edwards lost his yellow basket. A-tisket, a-tasket! Won’t someone help him find his basket? Was it green? No! Was it blue? No no no no! Just a little yellow basket.

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