The Fiver | Nothing will stop Fifa from littering the world with mundanity

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Sometimes, upon reading a release from Fifa, there can be no response but to sit back in awed appreciation. These guys just get football, on a different level to most of us. This is why they are the custodians of the game, and safer hands there could not be (though Gordon Banks, who will pluck a few balls in Friday’s draw, had a pretty decent pair. Of hands.)

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