The Fiver | No longer any need for that crash course in English he was planning

In today’s Fiver: Watford, Alec Baldwin, ‘geopolitical tensions’ and more

The Fiver is in no position to lecture anyone about the importance of speaking English good, but that hasn’t stopped it from developing some strong opinions on Watford manager Alec Baldwin’s insistence on communicating via an interpreter all season. It’s a disgrace is what it is, a flagrant show of disrespect towards the homegrown triumph of marketing and globalisation that is the Premier League, and things have been tense in The Fiver household every time Baldwin appears on Match of the Day. The British Broadcasting Corporation’s Match of the Day, no less! $exually Repressed Morris Dancing Fiver hasn’t been this angry since that time the waiter at the local Italian confirmed the chef didn’t keep a tin of spaghetti hoops handy. $exually Repressed Morris Dancing Fiver wants his country back! Poor $exually Repressed Morris Dancing Fiver.

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