The Fiver | Danny Rose and a slogan we would happily see on a press briefing lectern

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Even though Social Media Disgrace Twitter has for weeks been full of people posting hilarious quips about not being able to get their hair cut, UK gaffer Boris Johnson says the nation badly needs a morale boost. It is as if the famously detail-phobic politician is unaware that The Fiver has been available on a continuous and vaguely punctual basis all throughout the current lockdown or, on the other hand, that he reckons even a tea-timely football-themed email is not enough to keep people’s minds off a deadly contagion, which would suggest he’s been putting more thought into this whole pandemic thing than it seems.

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