The Fiver | Countries with an entrenched capacity to make things dull and difficult

In today’s Fiver: Didier Deschamps, going avant garde and Northwich Victoria

As you may be aware, Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. What a humiliating fiasco that was and it’s no surprise that Jack and Jill haven’t been heard of since, unless that was them masterminding Theresa May’s recent election campaign. What’s sure is that the original water-carrier, as so dubbed by Eric Cantona, remains very much to the fore, although it seems that Didier Deschamps’ bucket has sprung a leak and not everyone in France is convinced he has the slightest notion how to fix it. Look at him, careering downhill with a rusty crock, getting water all over his tiny shoes and making all the bullies laugh! Run, squat Diddly, run!

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