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The Fiver | Captain Jean-Luc Picard is smack bang in the middle of most of it

In today’s Fiver: Huddersfield, Arsène Wenger and the right man at Wolves

Weird Uncle Fiver turned up today in an extremely dishevelled state, reader, with a maniacal grin, an otherworldly body odour and an inability to stop babbling incoherently. But there was something different about him. Something close to credibility. It was as if the words streaming out of his mouth like cut-price beer from a fallen Tin were based on actual events and had nothing at all to do with magic fungus. Yet, when his words were pooled, they made no sense. Wacky stuff about Per Mertesacker slipping baby reins on to Diego Costa, Victor Moses tripping over an invisible sleeping dog, and Huddersfield Town reaching the Premier League!

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