The Fiver | Arsenal’s clothes have been stolen by the flamboyant Parisians

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When the draw for the first knockout phase of Big Cup was made in December, José Mourinho was still in charge of Manchester United, blissfully unaware he was just 21 fun-packed hours away from the sack. Suffice to say, it was pretty much universally expected that Paris Saint-Germain, with whom United were paired in the Round Formerly Known As The Round Of Arsenal, were going to give them an awfully hard smack in the mouth. But events, dear reader, events! And the world has turned quite a bit since then. Mourinho is gone, reinvented as a star of the stage, his music-hall tumbling act having taken Russian society by storm. This Ole Gunnar Solskjær seems like a nice lad. And poor Neymar’s feet have been found to have the load-bearing properties of a defence built around David Luiz. Oh Neymar! What have they done to you.

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