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The Fiver | An identical, monotonously predictable safety-first approach

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While the Duchess of Sussex, Brighton’s newest celebrity fan, opted for a Givenchy wedding dress with boatneck neckline, long sleeves and an even longer train at Saturday’s Royal Wedding, belt and braces were very much in vogue at the day’s other aristocratic event some miles away at Wembley Stadium. Both José Mourinho and Antonio Conte went for an identical, monotonously predictable safety-first approach in Saturday’s FA Cup final, with the latter’s being heavily criticised by the former, who somehow managed to keep a straight face as he mournfully described Chelsea’s tactics as “so predictable”, announced that “I don’t think they deserve to win” and managed to imply Manchester United’s defeat was entirely down to the absence of a Belgian battering-ram in whose direction the ball could be hoofed, if only that battering-ram hadn’t selfishly decided to prioritise participating in the World Cup with his country over trying to win the FA Cup with his club.

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