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The Fiver | A weekend with more big matches than bonfire night in Brobdingnag

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Sweaty palms for days beforehand, that growing sense of nausea, brief moments of calm followed by sudden pangs of anxiety, dread creeping in like cold air under the door – no, The Fiver doesn’t relish its annual visits to Weird Uncle Fiver’s “bachelor pad”, with its squelchy carpets, distinctive odour and off-brand breakfast cereal. But it does mean The Fiver can empathise with fans facing the nerve-shredding prospect of a crunch derby.

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