The Fiver | A master of deadpan delivery

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Manuel Pellegrini has a reputation for being dour in public but The Fiver knows a thing or two about comedy and it has come to realise that the Chilean is actually a master of deadpan delivery. After all, just look at what Pellegrini had to say after Gollivan convinced him to sign a contract worth up to £7m a year to become Taxpayers FC’s new scapegoat-in-waiting: “I think West Ham has a very good team. I know all of the players and I saw most of the games that they played last season.” Apart from the ones where Joe Hart had his shoelaces tied together and Patrice Evra looked like he was busy thinking about what he was going to post on Instagram, of course. The point here is that Pellegrini managed to keep a straight face as the words fell out of his mouth before magically materialising on the club’s official site and, if nothing else, at least more hilarious lines like that will have them rolling in the aisles at the D1ldoD0me next season. Seems The Fiver’s got some competition!

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