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The Fiver | A Canning Town shove towards the touchline

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And so to the hive of optimism that is the D1ldoDome then, where the Fiver hasn’t witnessed such an outpouring of seething collective funk from a Premier League team’s fans mid-match since the last time West Ham supporters lost their rag. With West Ham 1-0 down against Burnley on Saturday, a handful of whoppers stormed past a line of stewards that consisted of the cast of Rainbow before bouncing around aimlessly like this intro without ever revealing what their point was. Eventually, one of them went full Graeme Souness and tried to plant a corner flag in the centre circle, a nonsensical act given the contempt many of West Ham’s fans appear to have for their soulless new home and the fact the turf is half synthetic anyway.

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