The Fiver | 0.33 Nathan Redmonds on our patented Passive-Aggressive-o-Meter

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Manchester City’s bid to seriously irritate their neighbours by going one better than 1999 while their manager strikes a pose of studied indifference, making out he genuinely doesn’t care either way, and what’s more by the look in his eye he might even mean it, continues apace. In the first leg of their Three-Handled Tin Pot semi-final at the Etihad, the runaway Premier League leaders beat Championship side Bristol City, who were on a collision course with heartbreak the minute Bobby Reid deservedly gave them the lead in the first half, everyone just knew it. Oh Kevin! Oh Sergio! How can your souls be so bereft of romance!

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