Police must get to bottom of false stories about Crystal Palace fans

The origin of the mysterious misinformation about knuckle-dusters and knives being found at the game at Brighton needs to be tracked down

There is an old episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm in which Larry David is sitting in traffic when the lights change to green and the car in front does not move. The only issue is that it happens to be a police car and, in those circumstances, what is the etiquette? Who beeps a police car? Larry, is the answer. “No one’s above the beep,” he explains when the police officer gets out of his car.

OK, it is not to be taken too seriously (Larry is also wearing a wig and a false moustache after a fatwa for planning to make a Broadway musical, coincidentally named Fatwa!, about Salman Rushdie). Yet it is easy to sympathise and, ultimately, beeping doesn’t do Larry any good. Officer Jenkins doesn’t take kindly to being asked if he was daydreaming and is not prepared to accept Larry’s get-out clause that, driving a new car, he wasn’t attuned to the subtleties of the horn and had meant it to be a pip rather than a beep. Larry gets a ticket. He takes it to an appeal and the judge accepts the officer was on “important police business”. The case is dismissed and Larry is reminded it doesn’t always make sense to take on the police.

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