rss
0

NFL Draft 2015: Jameis Winston picked No1 as Leonard Williams goes to Jets – as it happened!

Thanks for following along. Check back here in 5 years to see my grades of the 1st Round. I just don’t want to embarrass myself by making any snap judgments without seeing these guys on the field.

Thanks again.

This concludes the 1st Round of the 2015 NFL Draft.

Roger Goodell tells the crowd: “Thank you for making this night special.” He got booed while saying that. You did a good job, people of Chicago. You deserve to host more drafts.

The Saints use the 31st pick to take Clemson LB Stephone Anthony.

So the Saints used their two 1st Round picks on a tackle and a linebacker. Hopefully they’ll help the Saints play less like an NFC South team in 2015.

Things are getting fun.

Shut yo hating ass up Mel kiper

With the 30th pick, the Packers take safety Damarious Randall.

He played at Arizona State. But maybe he once had a refrigerator in his dorm that’s as cold as Green Bay, so hopefully it won’t be a big adjustment for him.

Probably time for Britt McHenry to get off Twitter for the night.

I mean Dez Bryant.

Fat girl chill before I rip you up lol RT @theelectwoman08: Dez Bryant so corny

The Colts did not select fully inflated footballs. Instead, they used the 29th pick to take Miami WR Phillip Dorsett.

Two Miami players have now gone in the 1st Round. This actually doesn’t help Al Golden’s job security because it just highlights how little he does with the talent he has.

The Colts are on the clock. Watch them select fully inflated footballs just to tsk the Patriots.

Does this mean Dez Bryant likes the Cowboys pick? I feel like this means Dez Bryant likes the Cowboys pick.

He better be a dog congrats

The Lions take Duke G Laken Tomlinson with the 28th pick in the draft.

Tomlinson wears glasses and they were bumped off his face after his name was called. Oh, right. I already said he went to Duke.

The Cowboys have used the 22nd pick on UConn CB Byron Jones.

Byron Jones looks happy. He must have heard that Tony Romo guaranteed a Super Bowl this year. From UConn to a Super Bowl ring! What a story!

#BALPick UCF WR Breshad Perriman. 4.26 40 at pro day. 1st receiver Ozzie Newsome selected in 1st RD since 2005 Mark Clayton.

Yeah, that Clayton pick was definitely worth swearing off WRs for a while. Can’t blame him.

Wow. Looks like Shaq Thomspon is so versatile he’s become a quarterback.

The Carolina Panthers select Washington’s Shaq Thompson with the 25th pick! pic.twitter.com/s2nIJajp7i

The Ravens use the 26th pick to take Central Florida WR Breshad Perriman.

Steve Smith will probably see this as disrespect and use it for motivation. Why? Because Steve Smith sees everything as disrespect and uses everything for motivation.

The Ravens are up. Someone will inevitably ask their pick if he thinks he can play a role in healing Baltimore. Because that’s totally a thing an NFL rookie should expect to have on his plate.

With the 24th pick, the Carolina Panthers select Washington LB Shaq Thompson. He played both RB and LB in college. He could maybe play S in the NFL. He has a lot of skills.

But it’s unlikely he can hit free throws.

The Cardinals use the 24th pick to take Florida OT D.J. Humphries.

In more interesting news, the Cowboys are on the clock. If they want to keep winning, they should keep up their recent draft trend of ignoring whatever Jerry Jones wants to do.

Ray was in the news this week for a positive marijuana test. This was seen as a big negative. Now he’s playing in Colorado, where weed is legal. America may want to consider getting uniform laws on that plant.

Bud Dupree is listed as both a DE and a LB. Maybe the Steelers will also try him at defensive back because they don’t really have any of those. Options.

With the 22nd pick, the Steelers take Bud Dupree out of Kentucky.

The NFL Draft just became a lot like the NBA Draft.

The Steelers are on the clock. They will likely go defense, specifically anyone who promises not to retire for at least the next season.

With the 21st pick, the Bengals take Cedric Ogbuehl, OT, from Texas A&M.

Ogbuehl will give Andy Dalton more time to throw. Is that a positive or a negative?

Twenty players have been selected so far. I wonder if any of them have ever smoked marijuana. I DOUBT IT! There’d be no place for them in the NFL if they did.

Now Chip Kelly works the phones to see if he can package Agholor for Mariota. “Come on! Sam Bradford and Agholor for Mariota? You’re robbing me!”

If new Browns center Cameron Erving is smart, he’ll refuse to snap the ball to any Cleveland quarterback. Maybe that’s why they drafted him.

Well, the Browns got themselves a new center. They should be really good now.

The Browns are up again and the networks keep putting up their recent draft picks on the screen. It seems a bit rude. They know they’re bad, okay? They’re the Browns. They live their reality every day.

The Chiefs used the 18th pick to take Washington CB Marcus Peters. Peters is thought to have character issues. There’s simply no place for a person like that in the National Football League.

Names currently trending worldwide on Twitter:

The 49ers have used the 17th pick to take Oregon DE Arik Armstead.

No Mariota and now an Oregon player went a few picks before the Eagles are up. This is the worst night of Chip Kelly’s life.

Houston likes Defense... Used 11 of last 13 1st round picks on D. @HoustonTexans #NFLDraft2015

To my point about how Houston should consider getting a quarterback at some point.

The Texans have used the 16th pick to take Wake Forest CB Kevin Johnson.

This will help Houston against Andrew Luck. The Texans would also have a better shot a beating the Colts if they got one of those watchamacallit ... quarterbacks.

I don’t know. I think Amari Cooper is better.

Congrats to Amiri Cooper the best in the draft.

The Chargers use the No. 15 pick, acquired from the 49ers, to take Wisconsin RB Melvin Gordon.

This selection will only fuel Danny Woodhead’s scraptastic return.

San Diego sends San Francisco the 17th overall pick, a 2015 4th Rounder and a 2016 5th Rounder.

This trade clearly goes along with San Francisco’s plan to not have any players for the 2015 season.

The Dolphins have selected Louisville WR DeVante Parker with the 14th pick.

Why take a receiver when they’re committed longterm to Mike Wallace? Oh. Oh, right.

It appears not everyone on the Rams is a big fan of the Todd Gurley pick. I wonder why.

Yikes

We’re almost halfway through the 1st Round of the draft. Things are starting to drag a little bit. It’s time for Chip Kelly to swoop in with some sort of insane trade. Save us, Chip.

The Saints have used the first of their two 1st Round picks on Andrus Peat, T, Stanford.

This is how Danny Shelton changes positions:

Shelton clapped and smiled after the selection. We’ve witnessed history. That has never happened after a player gets picked by the Browns.

The Vikings drafted Michigan State CB Trae Waynes with the 11th pick. The experts are saying he can’t be a top CB if he doesn’t get better at tackling in run support.

That’s true. He could be another failed CB like Deion Sanders.

In breaking down the Gurley pick, Jon Gruden said the Rams haven’t had a good running back since Eric Dickerson and Jerome Bettis.

Marshall Faulk and Steven Jackson were pretty good, Mr. Gruden. You should Google them.

Chris Berman: “No one could stop this guy ... except for his ACL injury.”

Berman also opened the draft by referencing the assassination of JFK. Really.

Lots of love for Derek Jeter at the draft.

Nothing but #RE2PECT !

The tiniest Eagles fans REALLY wanted Marcus Mariota:

@MBarkannCSN my son is not happy pic.twitter.com/zM8fvwCQgR

With the 9th pick, the New York Giants have selected Miami OT Ereck Flowers.

We should all like this pick, because he’ll give Eli Manning more time to throw the ball straight up in the air and hope Odell Beckham comes down with it.

The Falcons selected Clemson LB Vic Beasley with the No. 8 pick.

Falcons fans have to like that pick. And even if they don’t, applause will be piped in to make it sound like they do.

Kevin White has the quote of the draft so far:

I’m a great guy. I’m humble.

[ sad trombone ]

Kevin White is 5th WR taken by Bears in 1st round. None of previous 4 even made a Pro Bowl.

The Bears have taken Kevin White, WR, West Virginia with the 7th pick.

He doesn’t look all that happy. He’s a smart player. He knows his QBs are Jay Cutler and Jimmy Clausen.

Jon Gruden’s excitement level has noticeably dropped since the first two quarterbacks were taken. Someone stab him in the heart with some adrenaline.

Troy Polamalu, Clay Matthews. You simply can’t go wrong picking a USC defensive player with large amounts of hair. Great pick.

I am watching both ESPN and the NFL Network. The coverage seems of equal quality in that people from both outlets have absolutely no idea what will happen and are just throwing things out there to fill time between picks.

Some analysis of that Washington pick:

pic.twitter.com/IL0G7GjHQT

Washington has selected OT Brandon Scherff out of Iowa. Scherff looks like he is tearing up. He’s probably realizing his professional future is in the hands of Dan Snyder and RGIII.

The Oakland Raiders have selected Amari Cooper, WR, Alabama, with the No. 4 pick.

Mel Kiper just said “he could be Jerry Rice.” Also, he could not be. (Or he could.)

I once did a mostly serious breakdown of Winston vs. Mariota as an NFL quarterback. You can read it here. It seems the Buccaneers agreed with this evaluation. I’m not sure this is a compliment.

You don’t need Mariota, Eagles fans. You have the BEST Heisman QB in modern history! Hooray!

I'm no math expert, but Tebow looks like the best! pic.twitter.com/12k64YnO5M

The Jacksonville Jaguars have made a pick. Does it matter? It’s the Jaguars.

Chip Kelly on the phone with Sam Bradford right now: “Hahahaha. Yeah, all that trade rumor stuff was just a joke. I totes think you’re awesome and very mobile and won’t get hurt in training camp.” [starts sobbing]

Pray for Chip Kelly. Although, who should you pray to? God? Ha! God is not as much of a genius as Chip Kelly, amiright?

Jon Gruden just said Marcus Mariota will be the “steal of the draft” at No. 2. Can a player be a draft steal at No. 2? APPARENTLY.

When listening to ESPN’s QB expert Jon Gruden, know that these were the people he chose to throw passes for him in Tampa Bay:

UPDATE: The good people of Chicago booed Roger Goodell quite loudly during the first pick. Welcome back to America, friends.

Jameis Winston is the 1st pick in the draft. Have to think this ends his career as a relief pitcher.

The last time the Bucs had the No. 1 overall pick, they took Vinny Testaverde in 1988. In his first season as a starter, he went 5-10 and threw 13 TDs and 35 INTs. Maybe Tampa should go punter here.

Roger Goodell is NOT getting loudly booed. Chicago should be kicked out of the United States.

It will be interesting to see if Jets fans paid money to fly to Chicago to boo a person’s name. Let’s hope not. The idea of Jets fans spreading throughout the country is terrifying.

The draft starts at 8:00 p.m. ET. But they only put the Buccaneers on the clock at 8 p.m. You know, in case, they didn’t prepare for this.

“Oh, crap! Someone print out a list of prospects real quick! We’ve got 10 minutes!”

The Bears are reportedly among the teams interested in trading up to No. 2 to get Mariota and want to include Jay Cutler in the deal, but the Titans say they don’t want anything to do with him.

This report would probably hurt Jay Cutler’s feelings if Jay Cutler had feelings.

Eagles fans chanting “Do the deal! Do the deal! Do the deal!” to Chip Kelly.

Here’s the scene for the national anthem. Subtle as ever, NFL.

Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome is back and he's producing the NFL Draft! pic.twitter.com/moarA45ZZc

ESPN has a Countdown Clock for the draft on the bottom-left of the screen. Helpful, in case you have you haven’t seen any sports coverage in the past three months and were unaware the draft is happening tonight.

Hopefully they’ll scroll something along the screen letting us know if LeBron James is a person who exists.

Hello! Welcome to the 2015 Chip Kelly Liveblog of the Eagles NFL Draft Philadelphia Mariota!

Perhaps the biggest story of the event is whether the Eagles will move up to No. 1 or No. 2 to draft Marcus Mariota. Weird, since Chip Kelly spent a lot of time last month telling us how good Sam Bradford is. I am confused. Chip Kelly may not be a reliable source.

DJ will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s who Paolo Bandini think will go No1 and No2:

Continue reading...

About the Author

Comments are closed.