It’s back to work with all your favourite people

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Guess who’s back? After two weeks away, The Fiver is back! Or has it been three weeks away? It might be three weeks. Is it three weeks? Oh, who’s keeping count anyway, all you really need to know is that the torture of non-stop eating and boozing is over and it’s back to work with all your favourite people, you’ve got a shiny new gym membership that doubles up as your path to fitness and a useful way to bore your biggest enemy to death, and the world’s leading tea-time email is back with a vengeance. New year, new Fiver. Just you watch. This year, the plan is to write at least seven jokes that raise a t1tter, to hit the deadline at least nine times and to up the readership from three people to at least four. But before we get started on that, first let’s have a look back on what you might have missed while The Fiver was mainlining processed turkey slices and watching endless repeats of The Vicar of Dibley over Christmas.

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