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Today: Dimitri Payet, proper research and Arsène Wenger’s rattling lid

So farewell then, Dimitri Payet. You came, you saw, you made 48 Premier League appearances in which you scored 11 goals, provided 18 assists, had a cross accuracy of 32%, hit the woodwork five times and prompted the Fiver to do some proper research once. Now you’ve left West Ham for Marseille, from whence you came, having thrown your rattle out of the pram in the kind of parabolic arc more readily associated with one of those free-kicks with which you occasionally wowed Hammers fans, many of whom now consider you to be a duplicitous little turncoat who they never liked anyway.

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