Football transfer rumours: Zlatan Ibrahimovic on his way back to Malmo?

Today’s fluff craves bank holiday Tuesday

While the nation spent their bank holiday Monday nursing a hangover – or doing whatever it is people do for fun these days – Ed Woodward was hard at work. Football never sleeps, you see, a lesson the Mill learned long ago. Manchester United’s executive vice-chairman gave José Mourinho a tour of the training ground, parading his new manager in front of the camera like a man just a little too pleased to have a girl on his arm, providing an essential service to the Portuguese by asking “John” if he should go upstairs, making excruciating small talk with Sir Bobby Charlton (most of which is drowned out by Club Tropicana-esque background music) and pointing aimlessly into an empty car park, his hand just a little too tight around Mourinho’s shoulder.

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