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Football transfer rumours: Mario Suárez to Arsenal?

New year, same old fluff. Sorry

Fizzle, crackle, crackle, fizzle, crackle, crackle … Whizz! Bang! There’s only one way to celebrate Happy New Transfer Window Day* reader … and that’s by strapping a Jim White effigy to a rocket and sending him hurtling deep into January 2015. Boom! The Rumour Mill’s had a few you see. But, don’t mess with fireworks kids. Or booze. Or Jim White. It won’t end well.

Speaking of things not ending well, Arsenal are in for Suárez again. Only this time it is Atlético Madrid’s Mario Suárez. A defensive midfielder. Yes, really. And the money on the table is not going to be £40m+£1. No, he’ll be much, much cheaper. Because he’s just OK. He’ll do a job. That’s it.

Related: Manchester United consider Aston Villa’s Ron Vlaar for potential transfer

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