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Football transfer rumours: Manchester United to sign Yannick Carrasco?

Today’s fluff has been asked to help out with the fake news investigation

Spare a thought today for the agents. For some of them this is a day of excruciating pressure that they must shrug off to prove their worth. It’s like their A-Levels, their driving test, their Olympic final and their first court appearance on serious fraud charges all rolled into one. It’s the last opportunity for months for the less fortunate of them to wangle a transfer and a pay rise for a client who has been performing like an absolute galoot. If they fail, they could be sacked. It’s a cut-throat business and today is their last chance to procure a neck brace. Pray for them.

Of course, there are plenty of agents who don’t need your pity because pretty much all they have to do today is keep answering their phones with two words: “How much?” It looks like being a pleasant day for whoever fields Scott Hogan’s calls, for instance. Word is the Brentford striker’s valet can expect to hear from West Ham, Crystal Palace, Aston Villa and West Brom, at least.

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