Football transfer rumours: Liverpool target Isco and Cesc Fàbregas?

Today’s tittle-tattle offers beguiling humility

It’s an unforgiving business, football management – especially if you’re José Mourinho, the only manager ever to be afflicted by injured players and a full calendar. But, consummate professional that he is, he has somehow found time to cease belittling his defenders for long enough to focus on the shortcomings of his attack. Extensive research and a sophisticated scouting network has unearthed the talents of Kylian Mbappé, news certain to excite fans of Hanson. But reports since suggested that Monaco rejected United’s offer of £85m, or €4 and a saucisson, while others had Monaco denying both the offer and his availability for sale. Because if there’d been one and he were, they’d be certain to confirm it the night before a Champions League semi-final.

And United have also contacted Torino, with the plan of giving them all the money in exchange for Andrea Belotti. Belotti, scorer of 27 goals this season, has a release clause of £84.5m because £84m just isn’t enough, and has doubtless been turned onto the English game by the ostentatious shouting and beguiling humility of Joe Hart.

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