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Football transfer rumours: Granit Xhaka and Lars Bender to Arsenal?

Today’s fluff is putting a price on success

How much is the Premier League trophy worth? In a scientific study that involves scanning the tittle-tattle uploaded to the world’s most trusted football transfer journals, the Mill can exclusively reveal it is valued at £60m. You see, in order to have the most coveted of shiny gongs in English football sat atop his mantlepiece in May, Arsène Wenger is finally willing to dive into the reservoir of cash that is floating beneath the Emirates Stadium and raid Germany for not one, but two, central midfielders. Yes, you read that right, two central midfielders having just bought one last week in Mohamed Elneny. If only there was an analogy involving Arsenal fans and London buses to end this first paragraph with.

Related: Chelsea step up talks with Corinthians over deal to sign striker Alexandre Pato

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