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Football transfer rumours: Eric Dier and Kyle Walker heading for Tottenham exit?

Today’s rumours are shorthanded

With White Hart Lane closed for renovations, Tottenham Hotspur have had second thoughts about hosting matches at Wembley for a season and are thinking instead about taking a sabbatical from football. Untrustworthy sources say there is listless debate within the club about whether everyone should spend their gap year travelling the world as a squad or whether each individual should be allowed to go find himself in his own way. Dele Alli is rumoured to be keen on devoting several months to quiet contemplation in a Tibetan monastery while Vincent Janssen has his heart set on exploring Bouvet, an uninhabited subantarctic outpost considered to be the world’s remotest island, where penguins and petrels are left alone to breed and no one gives a hoot about dreadful goalscoring records.

Meanwhile, several clubs are banging on Spurs’ door in the hope that the “Closed for Business” sign is some kind of joke. Manchester United are banging loudest because Ed Woodward dare not face José Mourinho again without Eric Dier, says the Star, especially as Fabinho is now leaning towards staying at Monaco until Atlético Madrid are allowed to bring him in. But West Bromwich Albion are knocking on Spurs’ door, too, because they want to reintroduce Kevin Wimmer to competitive football. And then, of course, there’s Pep Guardiola, who doesn’t really do banging or knocking, so is instead working on a lace doily representation of Kyle Walker’s face, to be slipped under Spurs’ door as a reminder of Manchester City’s admiration for the full-back. It is hard to say, however, whether Spurs are aware of any of this, or even whether they are awake.

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