Football ‘Mega Exclusive’ transfer rumours: Tottenham’s Hugo Lloris to Real Madrid?

Today’s fluff is still getting over the Taboo defeat (‘Whiskey!’)

You’re scared, right? It’s cold outside and it’s January outside. You’re back in work and you’re broke. You spent all day yesterday curled up on the couch, with a knot in your stomach. And no matter how many episodes of Escape to the Country you watched, that feeling of fear would just not go away. Worst of all, you made that stupid pledge to keep January dry, didn’t you? You woke up with a fur on your tongue and an ache in your little belly (and those mysterious teeth marks “down there”) and you thought it would be a good idea not to touch a drop till February. What were you thinking? How are you even going to get through today, never mind the entire month? Well maybe the Mill can help. Why not start of the day by letting this transfer rumour ruminator lead you away to a fantasy world where people ride unicorns up mountains, throw ducks at balloons and rumours are fast, hard truths?

First up is the ‘Mega Exclusive’ that Tottenham Hotspur’s Hugo Lloris is doing one to Real Madrid for the princely sum of £25m. Yes, you read that right. Hugo Lloris is doing one to Real Madrid. Not that he has any say in it. Given that his life involves sipping a bit of coffee in L’eau à La Bouche or reading a bit of philosophy at the East Barnet Library, the French keeper is happy in London but it seems the suits over at White Hart Lane have other ideas. While living in a hollowed out mountain, where they stroke their cats and laugh deep throaty laughs, they have put their heads together and decided that the best way to back Mauricio Pochettino and his bid to take his team to the Promised Land is to sell one of his best players from right under his nose. That’s how the rest of those teams who qualify for the Champions League year after year and season after season do it, right? But before you break out the Magic Markers, a nice, long piece of plain linen and two bamboo sticks for poles, ask yourself this: would Spurs really jeopardise their future by selling one of their best players to Los Blancos for a vastly inflated price? Ah, yes. Good point. Sorry: good points.

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