ESPY Awards 2017: Simone Biles and Tom Brady among nominees – live!

  • Peyton Manning acts as host for sports awards
  • Sports stars gather for ceremony in Los Angeles

Hall of Fame Quarterback Peyton Manning will be hosting tonight, as he continues his decades-long takeover of all forms of media, almost certainly as part of a scheme to launch his inevitable political career. Perhaps he will end up being VP under President The Rock or President Kid Rock.

The ESPYs are an event that probably wouldn’t exist in a sane, logical world. Sports, more than anything else on the planet, don’t need an awards show. The whole point of sports is that they themselves determine the winners and losers right then and there, there’s no need to hold a vote later on.

But as literally every event of the last year has proven, we do not live in anything that even remotely resembles a sane, logical world, and the ESPYs have in fact become a genuinely meaningful event (in as much as anything has meaning anymore). Some of it is simply because it occupies a day on the calendar, immediately after the MLB All-Star Game, that would otherwise be essentially sports-free. Mostly though because the ESPYs will occasionally produce unforgettable moments. While we may not remember who won what last year, we all will remember the emotional, inspirational speech the late Craig Sager gave. It’s incredibly easily to be cynical about the ESPYs, in fact that will probably be at least 60-70% of my commentary tonight will be snarky or flat-out sarcastic in nature, which it makes it all the more impressive about how the producers are regularly able to discover pockets of genuine heartfelt sincerity in what should be just a a parade of shameless self-promotion.

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