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Dover Athletic 0-4 Crystal Palace: FA Cup – as it happened

Crystal Palace completed a straightforward FA Cup third round 4-0 win over Conference side Dover in Alan Pardew’s first game in charge

Cheers for reading - elsewhere, Sheffield United have handed QPR’s collective bottom to them, while Sunderland have hung onto their 1-0 lead over Leeds. I now recommend you join the boy Michael Butler for Yeovil v Manchester United, which is over here.

Well, that was a potentially tricky job very well done by Palace. Even considering the obvious disparity in quality between the two sides, Dover should probably be disappointed not to give them a slightly sterner tests. Still, their performances in the cup to this point have been much more impressive, so nothing to be embarrassed about.

90 mins + 2: Lovely save from Rafferty, who by necessity has been Dover’s best player. Thomas clips over a cross from the left, it’s nodded back into the middle for Doyle to head towards goal, but the Dover keeper dives to his left and pushes the ball away.

90 mins: Zaha produces a delightful flick to get around a couple of defenders, but one of them (Sterling), grapples him to the floor. Bannan tries a shot from the free-kick that drifts well over the bar. Three minutes added time.

87 mins: Lovely football that from Palace, orchestrated by Bannan, who knocks the ball around between a few players, eventually finding Thomas on the left side of the box who aims for the byline, crosses low into the middle and Doyle is there to force home.

Another one.

86 mins: Kelly tries a cross from the left which looks decent, but oddly Zaha at the far post doesn’t make a massive effort to get on the end of it.

84 mins: The dreadlocked Modeste, who by the reaction from the crowd seems like something of a ‘cult hero’, attempts a run and cross from the left, but again Hennessey (as much to keep himself warm as anything else) comes out and catches the thing.

82 mins: Final sub for Dover - Tom Murphy is off, and the splendidly-named Ricky Modeste is on.

81 mins: Zaha skips past Sterling and goes to ground, claiming a penalty, but nothing is given. There was a tiny bit of contact, but not much - there’s not much dignity in going down easily at the best of times, but against a Conference side you’re beating 3-0 with nine minutes left...

79 mins: Clean shorts for Hennessey today - once again the extent of his involvement in the game is to meander off his line to catch a fairly limp Cogan corner.

78 mins: WOOF. Zaha tries to run at the Dover defence, but is stopped in no uncertain terms by Wynter, who belts the ball with some gusto out of play.

75 mins: Cogan has a rare chance for a Dover attack, but his free-kick from the left hits the first man. Zaha counters, slips it inside to Bannan, who looks for a pass back but Wynter intercepts and puts it behind for a corner. Meanwhile, Adrian Mariappa comes on for Ledley.

73 mins: Sub for Palace - Jerome Thomas replaces Gayle.

71 mins: Perhaps not surprising that Dover are falling apart a little here, given the disparity in fitness and so forth, but even considering who they’re playing, they will probably be disappointed with their performance. They haven’t had a single shot so far, and aside from a few spells of decent pressing have made it far too easy for Palace.

70 mins: Change for Dover - Bellamy is off, and Tom Wynter is on.

68 mins: That would seem to be that. Palace take advantage of that large amount of space in midfield by bringing it forward unchallenged, Gayle gets the ball on the left side of the box, does a little step-over then fires a shot low into the net at the near-post.

And they take advantage.

67 mins: Big spaces opening up in the Dover midfield now...

65 mins: Bit of a scramble in the Dover area, with Gayle and Doyle attempting a couple of scrappy efforts that are eventually cleared. Amid all of that, Gayle seemed to be tripped by Bonner, but no penalty is given.

62 mins: Ach, dreadful from O’Keefe there. Zaha runs at the Dover defence, elects to square to O’Keefe in space, with a clear run at goal, but he leans back and it goes way over.

61 mins: Hmmm, quite how Bannan hasn’t at least been booked is something of a mystery, as after being dispossessed by Bellamy he firstly has a little stamp on his heel then tries to kick out, but doesn’t connect. Lucky boy.

60 mins: Another Palace player tries to shoot from miles out, this time Doyle who turns his nose up at options left and right to swing his boot rather lazily, but his effort is easily blocked.

58 mins: Change for Dover - Raggett comes off, and is replaced by the Italian Christian Nanetti.

57 mins: Kelly, seemingly under the impression that he’s Neymar, tries a curling shot from way outside the box, and it goes...well, very high and wide.

56 mins: More grand defending and keeping through a combination of Raggett and Rafferty, combining to not just keep out O’Keefe as the ball breaks loose in the area, but win a goal-kick too.

54 mins: Smashing defending from Tyrone Sterling there, holding off Zaha as he scampered down the right, trying to collect a pass down the channel.

52 mins: Scott Dann, on a hat-trick, which is up there with the more surreal sentences ever to appear in the Guardian, nearly bags the matchball after getting his head to a corner from the right, but it’s not an especially powerful header and Rafferty claims.

49 mins: Not much has happened in the second half so far, as you may have guessed. In one of the other games, Sheffield United are now 2-0 up over QPR. Gosh!

47 mins: Might just post Kirsty MacColl songs for the rest of the second half. Here’s a football(ish)-themed one: England 2 Columbia 0...

46 mins: We’re away. Sounded like they were playing Kirsty MacColl’s version of ‘Days’ over the PA just before they started again. Excellent, well played Dover.

And we’re back out for the second half. A change for Palace, with Glenn Murray - who of course had some treatment for what looked like a twisted ankle in the closing stages of the opening 45 - replaced by Kevin Doyle.

It’s been said that Alan Pardew has never met a camera he didn’t like, but on the way off after the first half he pushed one away trying to film him. Banter, or has Pards gone shy?

And that’s the break. Palace rather comfortably ahead, with Scott Dann heading both goals home. You get the feeling that they could’ve had at least a few more were they really in the mood, but they’ve played with confidence and are easily the better side. They should have a few more, really.

45 mins: First booking of the day, and it’s deserves as Essam catches Ledley upon the shin, going slightly over the ball there too. Could’ve been most nasty.

44 mins: Gayle shoots from the left side of the box, but it goes...well, very over. Disappointingly haven’t see a ball actually go out of the ground yet, unless I’ve missed one.

42 mins: ...which, erm, he, well, doesn’t.

41 mins: Spot of wrasslin’ in the midfield as Joe Ledley grapples his man to the turf. Cogan has a chance to deliver...

39 mins: Ooof. Kelly perhaps lucky not to see yellow after flying into a challenge on Essam, which luckily for all parties he didn’t fully connect with.

37 mins: Quick update from elsewhere: Sheffield United have just gone 1-0 up over QPR, and Sunderland have taken the lead against LeedsLeedsLeeds. Follow all t’other scores here.

35 mins: Palace nearly go three-up straight away, as O’Keefe has a shot deflected by Deverdics that Rafferty does well to get down at the near post and push it away.

Simple stuff really. A corner comes over from the right, Dann rises like a well-baked loaf of bread, unmarked in the middle and nods the thing back from whence it came and into the bottom corner.

A double for Dann.

33 mins: Robbie Savage is awfully keen to remind us that he used to be a footballer. So far he’s played with at least three members of the Palace side. One of them, Bannan, wins a corner.

31 mins: Murray is on the turf, having gone down with what looks like a twisted ankle. Treatment is being administered.

30 mins: Wee bit of uncertainty in the Palace backline, as Bellamy charges down a slightly dithering clearance from Martin Kelly. Meanwhile, you can take another shot in the FA Cup Cliché drinking game - we’ve just been treated to a shot of some enterprising souls watching the game from atop a nearby tree.

? pic.twitter.com/CJSFRZgK5s

28 mins: One of the Dover players drives a van, apparently.

"Some of these people have other jobs, Robbie! Jobs! That don't involve football! Can you even imagine?"

26 mins: Oh lord. Now Clem is talking to Chris Kinnear on the touchline. LEAVE HIM BE, CLEM. TAKE YOUR MATEY BANTER ELSEWHERE TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T HAVE A JOB TO DO.

25 mins: Another claim for a penner, as Delaney blocks a cross from the right with his hands in the air like he just don’t care, but the ball actually hit him nearer the face than limbs.

24 mins: BETTER as Andy Townsend might say, as Liam Bellamy looks to create something on the right and clips over a cross, but it’s headed away.

22 mins: Half-hearted claims for a penalty, mostly from the home fans, as Cogan goes to ground in the box, but no dice from ref ‘Dr’ (An)Dre Marriner.

20 mins: Dover are a bit too tentative and deep here. Nicky Devadics gets the ball, initially in a bit of space about 30 yards out, but no teammates come to help and he’s quickly crowded out. It’s perhaps understandable, but Dover look like a team afraid to get a pasting rather than one trying to win.

18 mins: Dover eventually get the ball back and try to launch an attack, in the most literal sense of the word, hoofing the thing forwards towards Stefan Payne, but Damian Delaney rather casually deals with the attempted pass.

17 mins: Palace have basically kept the ball for about two straight minutes now. Textbook stuff from the big boys.

14 mins: O’Keefe tries to slide in Zaha, who has now switched over to the right, presumably just for yucks, but the pass is cut-out by an attentive defender.

13 mins: Palace are playing this one exactly as a Premier League side playing a Conference one should - confidently, imposing themselves, making it very clear that they’re simply better, and the early goal will obviously help that.

10 mins: Well, this could actually get quite ugly. It sounds a bit odd to say it’s surprising that a goal has taken this long with only ten minutes gone, but it is. Zaha is giving Essam twisted blood on the Palace left, which he does and whelps over a cross from the left, which is flicked on by someone or other and Dann is there at the back stick to power the header home.

And it had been coming.

8 mins: Palace go close a couple of times through Murray. The first from a snap shot in the area that Rafferty half-saves but can’t grab into, the second after the ball is fed out wide and crossed back into the box, that Murray glances a header towards the corner of the net but Rafferty again palms the thing around the post.

7 mins: As an aside, this FA Cup ball is horrible. A weird salmon pink colour with blue bits, which in the sunshine especially is almost impossible to see.

6 mins: The New Power Revolution at the Crabble...

This is what it sounds like... pic.twitter.com/KEn8Ypln0v

4 mins: And Palace attack instantly, Hennessey finding Stuart O’Keefe out on the left. He feeds inside to Barry Bannan, but the Scot’s shot with Zaha lurking in a better position is poor, and is easily saved by Rafferty.

3 mins: First chance of an attack for Dover, as they win a free-kick out on the left. Barry Cogan swings it over from deep near the touchline, but Wayne Hennessey advances confidently to claim.

1 mins: We’re off, and a chance straight away. Wilf Zaha makes tracks down the left, bamboozles a defender and clips over a cross which is met by Glenn Murray at the back stick. Andy Rafferty makes a decent save, pushing the ball away from goal, and defender Sean Raggett completes the clearance by hoofing the thing away.

“Throw the form book out the window,” spouts ‘Fletch’, so if you’re playing some sort of ruinous drinking game, down it.

The teams are out, and Pards is waving to the Palace fans. He looks happy. That’s nice.

One of the relatively recent FA Cup clichés is that camera they have in the corner of the dressing room, which apparently aren’t allowed in the Premier League and so forth. Perhaps because they occasionally catch players nude, which I think happened a few years ago when a non-League side found out their draw for the next round. Anyone remember who that was?

Poor Chris Kinnear is having to talk to Clem. Or, perhaps more accurately, is having his personal space invaded by a bald man with a microphone and questionable facial hair.

Everyone’s at the match. Even Papua New Guinea’s finest Ashes-winning wicket-keeper batsman...

Getting busy here at @DoverAthletic pic.twitter.com/TckQCcTVUF

Here is that FA Cup semi-final from 1990, with Pardew’s goals and plenty more. What a game that was.

Well would you look at that...

Amazing day in Dover pic.twitter.com/xEJDbrLJzQ

Rafferty, Raggett, Orlu, Bellamy, Murphy, Cogan, Payne, Sterling, Deverdics, Bonner, Essam. Subs: Wynter, Francis, Reid, Nanetti, Hook, Lock, Modeste.

So, Pards. Pardy Pard Pards. He’s back, baby, back at the club he served with distinction/was a minor punchline at before scoring one of the most important goals in their history, which as you’ll recall was in the FA Cup. It’s perhaps appropriate therefore that his first proper game in charge is in that competition, although back then he found the net against Liverpool, at that point the finest club in the land, whereas now he faces Dover who, with all due etc and so on, are not.

Nick will be here shortly before the 1pm kick-off. In the meantime, here’s Jacob Steinberg’s interview with Dover manager Chris Kinnear:

Chris Kinnear has been trying to build an extension on his house for longer than he cares to remember, but the countless hours he spends managing Dover Athletic and teaching PE in a school in east London have made the job impossible. “I just can’t get it finished because I can’t spend time on it,” he says. “We’ve got it up, but we just can’t finish it.”

It sounds like Kinnear is making excuses; surely he must have a few spare hours given that schools are on holiday? “Yeah, but when I’m on holiday I’m doing something with football,” he says. “I can’t get it finished.”

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