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Author Archive for Marina Hyde

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Telling Gareth Bale that Johnson is PM took away banterpocalypse’s sole survivor | Marina Hyde

The Real Madrid forward had been blissfully unaware that Boris Johnson was running the UK – but now the country has blown a prime cloning opportunity to reclaim its lost innocenceWhy did they do it? What honestly possessed the newspaper journalist who …

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NBA’s travails in China a cautionary tale for the Premier League | Marina Hyde

Sticking to the principle of freedom of speech can be uncomfortable when commercial gain in China is at stakeIf you have problems with the term “late-stage capitalism”, I hope you can get behind the alternative “ironicidal capitalism”. This is the bit …

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So: Bulgaria bad, England good? Actually this is not as black and white as it seems | Marina Hyde

It was not that long ago Raheem Sterling was being vilified by sections of English press and supporters, and hypocrisy has been rife since Monday’s debacle in SofiaThere has scarcely been a more breakneck reverse ferret than the support now shown by so…

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Nike: somehow the most cynical and naive company in the entire world of sport | Marina Hyde

How can any one firm wield so much influence, then claim to be little more than ingenues when agents of that influence are found to be cheats?‘This is my body. And I can do whatever I want to it. I can push it. Study it. Tweak it. Listen to it. Everybo…

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Grotesque tragedy unlikely to shame Fifa into action over Iran’s ban on female fans | Marina Hyde

Toothless urgings followed the death of Sahar Khodayari, who – faced with prison for trying to watch football – set herself on fireThe grim tragedy of Sahar Khodayari once again forces Fifa to pick the most expedient version of itself. Is it an organis…

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Geoffrey Boycott was convicted of domestic assault, so why has May knighted him? | Marina Hyde

Glacial opener, failed captain, convicted assaulter – no wonder the former PM has idolised him since childhoodGeoffrey Boycott has always represented Theresa May’s idealised version of herself, and in that sense it is no surprise that the former prime …

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US Open is the dignity-swerving slam where tennis bad boys thrive | Marina Hyde

Daniil Medvedev goading the crowd and Nick Kyrgios getting hot under the collar in a sport comically perfect for rebels, what’s not to love?Purely in terms of tournament sass, it was predictable Novak Djokovic would be booed off court after retiring fr…

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Already loving VAR? Wait until the Premier League finds a sponsor for it | Marina Hyde

Despite the Premier League’s problems finding a new chief executive, rest assured the lucrative sponsorship of the new on-screen pregnant pause will be a far easier position to fillHow can it be that the Best/Most Exciting/Richest League in the World T…

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Simone Biles is redefining brilliance in a sport that shamefully failed her | Marina Hyde

After the Larry Nassar saga USA Gymnastics should not exist but Biles continues to bring her sport dignity – and moneyOn Sunday night Simone Biles, on her way to securing her sixth US gymnastics title, performed a triple-double in her floor routine, on…

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Create beef and never apologise: my Premier League social media guidelines | Marina Hyde

Given what we know now, it feels time for an update. Here are the rules for the upcoming Premier League seasonBack in the mists of 2012, the Premier League issued its first ever set of social media guidelines. As departing chief executive Richard Scuda…

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Saudi race not about F1 healing powers but cash and cleaning the regime’s reputation | Marina Hyde

For all the talk of social change in Saudi Arabia, the beneficiaries of a grand prix would be F1’s coffers and the country’s rulerWas it really only last year that Formula One’s owner, Liberty Media, was making its pious announcement that “grid girls” …

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Women’s World Cup captured public’s imagination despite Fifa’s worst efforts | Marina Hyde

Patronising scheduling set it up to fail but players used their platform to highlight how the governing body lets them downGianni Infantino is one of those intensely political people who believe that as far as everyone else is concerned, there is no pl…

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Trolls and a flag leave sports marketing masters of universe in black hole | Marina Hyde

Botched launches of Arsenal’s kit and Nike’s trainer exposes halfwitted naivety among wizards of merchandisingDoes any profession attract a higher percentage of sweet summer children than sportswear marketing? We are encouraged to think of this most mo…

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Trolls and a flag leave sports marketing masters of universe in black hole | Marina Hyde

Botched launches of Arsenal’s kit and Nike’s trainer exposes halfwitted naivety among wizards of merchandisingDoes any profession attract a higher percentage of sweet summer children than sportswear marketing? We are encouraged to think of this most mo…

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Boycott’s not-out attitude switches ends between Test cricket and Brexit | Marina Hyde

The famously immovable opening batsman now shows a much more carefree approach to the prospect of no-dealMy God, I wish Geoff Boycott had approached playing cricket like he approaches no-deal Brexit. The longtime cricketer turned longtime commentator w…

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Fifa’s dirty laundry does not cause such a stench in murky times of today | Marina Hyde

In a world of pee tapes, poisonings and cybersecurity attacks, news such as Michel Platini’s detention does not feel quite the full-spectrum scandal it once would have beenI’m so glad that sporticidal Fifa president Gianni Infantino got to enjoy his se…

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Pity the poor man who’s had the Women’s World Cup shoved down his throat | Marina Hyde

From Mr Inferior Product to Mr I Prefer Parks, the tournament has caused a cosmic imbalance that we must redressOnce again I am hugely grateful to the community that will not allow us to forget the great under-reported story of this Women’s World Cup: …

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John Daly’s buggy gives us a joyride in front of po-faced golf authorities

It’s hard to escape the sense that the powers-that-be just feel someone like Daly makes the place untidyNews that the R&A is considering John Daly’s request for permission to use a buggy for July’s Open at Royal Portrush has been met by a growing c…

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Uefa’s ‘parking ticket’ fines will not rein in football’s maverick clubs | Marina Hyde

Unless it enforces a monster fine or ban on clubs who overstep the mark, Uefa is an employee of those it is supposed to policeReports that Uefa investigators are to recommend Manchester City be banned from the Champions League for a year are certainly …

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Donald Trump is a horse racing expert – who knew? Now cricket awaits his input | Marina Hyde

After his insistence political correctness interfered with the Kentucky Derby the US president’s UK visit during the Cricket World Cup is an opportunity not to be missedGiven that his online trophy cabinet already includes accolades like “most tweets s…