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Author Archive for Gregg Bakowski

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The Fiver | Good feet, a much talked-about head and a wardrobe-like presence

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!The Fiver’s got some good news and some fake news. The good news is that The Fiver is here to stay. The fake news is that it’s good news. Despite trying our best to unshackle ourselves from The Man, we…

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The Fiver | It’s not exactly Andy Carroll in a helicopter Googling his new team

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!There was a time when the The Fiver used to hate the transfer window because too much was going on. The Man doesn’t pay us by the word, you know. So, even if we filed a lead item and 10 transfer window…

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Football transfer rumours: Gareth Bale back to Spurs for £54m?

Today’s fluff is ready for anythingIt’s Gareth Bale’s birthday and among the popping corks and sounds of party horns being blown there is also talk of happy returns, chiefly a move back to Tottenham Hotspur, the club that helped transform Bale from a s…

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Wimbledon 2019: Williams, Halep and Konta in action and more – live!

Updates from women’s quarter-finals day at SW19Konta battles past Kvitova to reach last eightDay eight order of playAnd you can email Gregg here or tweet him here 1.20pm BST And now Riske breaks Williams! Having battled gamely with Serena, using the po…

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Football transfer rumours: Dejan Lovren to leave Liverpool for Milan?

Today’s fluff knows its true valueIt’s been a sorry time to be a Milan fan. Having seen their team fail to qualify for the Champions League and then get banned from the Europa League for breaching FFP rules, the venerable old club’s followers need some…

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The Fiver | It’s a sorry farce that matches are being played at all

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!And so to Africa, where the Cup of Nations has stumbled into action in conditions steamier than Weird Uncle Fiver’s rare collection of stamps. It’s made for some sticky pitches and the kind of ponderou…

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The Fiver | Passive-aggressive accusations of unrealistic wage demands

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!The Fiver has never been competitive – chiefly because in the field of unfunny tea-timely publications about football we’ve never had any competition, apart from that time when The Fourer left us Behin…

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The Fiver | It’s a miracle Argentina have made it to France 2019 at all

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!It’s not often England face Argentina in a match as heavy favourites, but in Le Havre Phil Neville’s side are being backed to give the Albicelestes the kind of drubbing the not so brave boys of 86 and …

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Football transfer rumours: Koscielny to Dortmund? Lascelles to Lazio?

Today’s fluff is feeling decidedly ropeyIt’s not often Newcastle are mentioned high up in the Mill, but don’t get excited Toon fans, you’re not splashing the cash. In a move that would likely make Rafa Benítez go all shades of purple if it were allowed…

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England v Scotland: Women’s World Cup 2019 – live!

Minute-by-minute updates from the 17.00 BST kick-offBronze: ‘I scored a couple of goals and my life changed overnight’Send your emails to Gregg here or tweet him @GreggBakowski 4.35pm BST Simon McMahon has been in touch: “Afternoon Gregg. There seems t…

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Premier League 2018-19 review: matches of the season

From misplaced early-season hope to a seven-goal Molineux thriller, via a showdown between the top twoWelcome to theguardian.com review of the 2018-19 Premier League season. We have nominated some contenders for this category but this is just to get th…

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The Fiver | Barely going two seconds without someone doing something amazing

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!Granny Fiver’s got it in for us, reader. On Monday we were supposed to be heading round her house to move the easy chair from the living room to the lean-to. She likes to get a bit of sun on her bones …

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How psychology helped Origi be a Liverpool hero after Wolfsburg low | Gregg Bakowski

Striker’s supreme mental strength has helped him bounce back from Bundesliga humiliation to be a cool conqueror of BarçaWhat a difference a year makes. On 5 May 2018 Divock Origi stood, shoulders slumped, at the Red Bull Arena having struggled to make …

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The Fiver | Using an immortal Scottish swordsman to slay Manchester City

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!For the 999th time this season, Liverpool have the joyless task of trying to put pressure on Manchester City by winning a game of football, before having all hope extinguished when City make a crucial …

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Premier League endgame looms and more: weekend countdown – live!

You can email Gregg here or tweet him herePremier League: 10 things to look out for this weekendFootball Weekly Extra: City’s derby joy, eggs and more 9.16am BST There are just three matchdays left in the Premier League, readers. You can almost smell t…

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Premier League endgame looms and more: weekend countdown – live!

You can email Gregg here or tweet him herePremier League: 10 things to look out for this weekendFootball Weekly Extra: City’s derby joy, eggs and more 9.16am BST There are just three matchdays left in the Premier League, readers. You can almost smell t…

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Football transfer rumours: Philippe Coutinho to leave Barça for Chelsea?

Today’s fluff is going to have to make a dash for itChelsea are already busy trying to figure out how to replenish their creative juices when Eden Hazard drops his shoulder and shoots off to Real Madrid this summer. One plan involves shovelling million…

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The Fiver | Turning to page 37 of his How To Manage Like Lord Ferg manual

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!It’s the Manchester derby folks. Under the lights. In front of 76,000 at a raucous Old Trafford. What an occasion! So, naturally, United fans just can’t wait to see their team throw a spanner in the wo…

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Football transfer rumours: Rodri and Bale heading for Manchester?

Today’s fluff has got life-affirming moments in its past it can’t repeatPep Guardiola wants a throbbing brain on the pitch with toes of steel to replace Fernandinho, whose creaking limbs are undergoing a late-career slow rust. In an ideal world, Pep wo…

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Wolves v Manchester United: FA Cup quarter-final – live!

FA Cup quarter-final updates from the 7.55pm (GMT) kick-off When United were darlings – and Wolves found out whyAnd you can email Gregg here. Tweet him @GreggBakowski 7.52pm GMT Justin Kavanagh writes: “Hearing Solskjæar speak after a couple of years o…