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Author Archive for Barry Glendenning

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The Fiver | Sean Dyche spreadeagled on a chaise longue in his red silk kimono

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!Considering the Fiver’s pre-conceived notion that Sean Dyche would be spending the current lockdown spreadeagled on a chaise longue in his red silk kimono drinking endless martinis while watching rerun…

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Virtual Grand National 2020 – live!

Talking Horses: millions will tune in for ITV’s VGN1977 Grand National: Red Rum pulls off historic trebleAnd you can email Barry or tweet @bglendenning 5.26pm BST Grand National: Burrows Saint and Rachael Blackmore take the lead, carrying my fiver with…

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The Fiver | Footballers, tax exiles and the government

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!Under justified attack for their ongoing ineptitude and obfuscation in the face of the coronavirus pandemic, it was only entirely predictable that the government should attempt to deflect any criticism…

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The Fiver | An idea so harebrained and stupid that it may be given the thumbs up

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!With the usual big fat clanging caveat that none of it really matters, except to a worrying number of football fans to whom it appears to matter a very great deal indeed, debate over whether or not the…

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Stress, spanners and dismay: another glimpse behind Sunderland’s curtain

Second series of Sunderland ‘Til I Die starts on Wednesday and if an Old Etonian proves entertaining, the fans are the real starsA BBC film crew working on a Sir David Attenborough wildlife documentary once sparked controversy by rescuing several pengu…

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The Fiver | Playing on behind closed doors in the world’s largest prison yard

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!Perhaps because they live down under, where day is night and night is day and everywhere is incredibly far a flamin’ away, Australians might think they’ve nothing to worry about when it comes to corona…

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So long Big Del, the sweary old-school Londoner who connected | Barry Glendenning

Shared experiences between people in separate places are quite the thing right now – plenty find the radio a comforting friendBig Del died last week. A fixture in my Brixton local, he hadn’t been in since Christmas and the cancer did for him pretty qui…

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The Fiver | In need of leadership and guidance as we ‘work’ from home

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!Day six. With our three emergency ideas long since used up and the world’s favourite football email’s “lodger”, Freeloader Mate Who Claimed It’ll Only Be For A Few Days Nine Years Ago Fiver, reclining …

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The Fiver | Sitting at the kitchen table getting evils from the cat

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!The Fiver didn’t get where it is today – sitting in its smalls at the kitchen table getting evils from the cat and staring forlornly at a relentlessly blinking cursor in the top left-hand corner of an …

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The Fiver | Cool heads, clean hands, kindness and endless cups of tea

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!Day Four of Football Has Stopped and, taking its lead from the BBC in replacing scheduled football coverage with monotonously predictable, largely unfunny but inexplicably popular humour everyone claim…

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Football transfer rumours: Chelsea target Henderson and Ter Stegen?

This morning’s fluff is hankering for brutal 80s-style school toilet paperFollowing the latest in a long line of excellent displays for Sheffield United against Norwich City on Saturday, on-loan goalkeeper Dean Henderson is reported to have been tellin…

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Football transfer rumours: Chelsea target Henderson and Ter Stegen?

This morning’s fluff is hankering for brutal 80s-style school toilet paperFollowing the latest in a long line of excellent displays for Sheffield United against Norwich City on Saturday, on-loan goalkeeper Dean Henderson is reported to have been tellin…

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Football transfer rumours: Chelsea target Henderson and Ter Stegen?

This morning’s fluff is hankering for brutal 80s-style school toilet paperFollowing the latest in a long line of excellent displays for Sheffield United against Norwich City on Saturday, on-loan goalkeeper Dean Henderson is reported to have been tellin…

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Arsenal v West Ham, Wolves v Brighton and more: clockwatch – live!

All the action from the 3pm GMT kick-offsLive scoreboard! All the day’s goals and gamesAny thoughts? Email Barry, tweet @bglendenning 1.32pm GMT Barney Ronay wrote column about Eric Dier’s post-match saunter into the West Stand at White Hart Lane on We…

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The Fiver | Utterly insincere and tokenistic pre-match pleasantries

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!Eager to be seen to be doing something to help prevent the spread of coronavirus, however useless it might be, the Premier League and Football League have decided to dispense with the “Fair Play handsh…

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Premier League team news, coronavirus updates and more – live!

All the latest as we count down to the weekend’s actionPremier League: 10 things to look out for this weekendEmail Barry here or tweet @bglendenning 10.47am GMT Newcastle news: Steve Bruce fears it is “pretty inevitable” that Premier League games will …

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The Fiver | A valuable service in helping to deflect attention from another defeat

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!Following his side’s fourth consecutive defeat in a match he will almost certainly claim was technically a draw, José Mourinho must have cut a lonely figure for prawn sandwich-munchers with their noses…

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Chelsea v Liverpool: FA Cup fifth round – live!

FA Cup updates from the 7.45pm GMT kick-offLive scoreboard: the latest from all Tuesday’s gamesAnd you can email Barry here or tweet him here 6.33pm GMT Following an eventful afternoon at Goodison Park on Sunday, where he brandished a red card at Evert…

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The Fiver | Chelsea, Liverpool, Carly Rae Jepson and The Weeknd

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!The last time Chelsea and Liverpool met in the FA Cup was seven years, nine months and 29 days ago in the 2011-12 final at Wembley. Canadian popster Carly Rae Jepson’s catchy, saccharine-sweet cri de c…

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Habitually miserable Arsenal fans finally crack a smile | The Fiver

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!As rare as hens’ teeth, Gutenburg’s Bible and a mint condition Honus Wagner baseball card, happy Arsenal fans are exceptionally hard to find. Feared to have gone extinct towards the tail end of the Ars…