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Ashes 2017-18: Australia v England second Test, day four – live!

HAS HANDSCOMB GLOVED JIMMY? He is going upstairs. It was given on the ground! HERE WE GO.

Before we kick off... an email from Robert Wilson. Morning (evening?) to Bob in Paris. “I’m getting strangled by a double deadline for tomorrow. One’s a month late, the other a mere week (honestly, people are incredibly humourless about these things). So I’m pulling an all-nighter. But there’s a bottle of wine whispering my name and there’s the bleedin’ Ashes in Adelaide. I’m absolutely forbidding myself from watching even wicket highlights but I think the OBO is allowable. So the pressure’s on, pal. It’s you and me. Light up my life, float my boat, flick my switches. BUT NO MORE LAXMAN AND RAHUL VIDEOS FFS!!!”

I feel you mate. I am here for you. But is this the right time to tell you that the copy of Eureka Street I picked up on the not-so-dark web is in French not English?

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