Alan Pardew enlists help of counsellor after David Meyler head-butt

• Newcastle manager promises not to violate FA ban
• 'Going on the team bus to Fulham wouldn't go down well'

Alan Pardew briefly considered travelling to Fulham on Newcastle United's team coach on Saturday afternoon before swiftly concluding it might not be the most diplomatic of moves.

"I'm not boarding the bus," said Pardew speaking for the first time since receiving a record seven-game FA ban for head-butting Hull's David Meyler during a game at the KC Stadium earlier this month. "I did think about going on the bus and having a hot dog outside Craven Cottage but I don't think that's going to go down too well so I'll say goodbye at the hotel."

With the Newcastle manager's punishment divided into a three-game stadium ban followed by four matches which will see him merely barred from the touchline, the coming weeks represent uncharted territory for Pardew who cut a contrite figure during his weekly media briefing.

"I was disappointed in myself," he acknowledged. "I'm an experienced manager and I shouldn't have got into that situation. It's something that can't happen again."

In an effort to avoid any repetition the 52-year-old will hire a personal management counsellor. "I've spoken to a few company CEOs who have management counselling and I think it's an avenue that might work for me," said Pardew. "Richard Bevan [the chief executive of the League Managers Association] has been a great help in terms of finding someone to work for me and I can just bounce ideas off. Not necessarily just about the touchline and the pressures I'm under, just normal managerial decisions.

"The big question for me when this incident happened was 'how am I going to be a better manager out of it?' I don't want to be a worse manager, I don't want to lose my drive and passion but I'm going to channel it a little bit better.

"I think the consultant will be someone from outside the game with a different perspective, someone with a business background. If you were a top CEO in the city you'd have one, the company would make sure you did. Given the position I'm in, I'm probably as important as them."

Pardew has been buoyed by staunch loyalty from assorted quarters including that inhabited by Newcastle's owner Mike Ashley. "I had lots of messages of support, not that I deserved sympathy, from colleagues in the game and from friends and family," said Pardew. "No matter what mistake you make in life, that's important.

"I just want to reiterate my apologies to David [Meyler] and Steve [Bruce, Hull's manager]. And to Newcastle fans, who've been terrific, and the club and Mike in supporting me after a situation I should never have got involved in and which was stupid.

"I've sent a letter to offer my side to David and say sorry for the incident. I deeply regret it. At the time I didn't think it was as bad as it appeared on television – I must have watched it 2,000 times now. But the bottom line is I should never have walked forward and got involved when he pushed me."

He concedes he was relieved to merely receive a £100,000 club fine rather than be sacked. "Of course it was a relief when you've made a mistake in front of millions of people," said Pardew. "You have to pay a price and there was a hefty price for me but the backing I've had from Mike and the club has been a really big help."

Further bolstering has come from Newcastle's dressing room. "A few of the players told me they thought some of the press reaction was over the top. They were funny about it, there was a bit of gallows humour," said Pardew. "I had a pair of boxing gloves put in my changing room. That's how players cope with these things, we'd all go mad otherwise – but I know it's not a laughing matter."

Although Pardew has not been informed that he cannot communicate with his assistant, John Carver, via mobile phone during matches while serving the stadium ban, he is unlikely to try.

"I'm going to think about it," said Newcastle's manager who will watch the match in Newcastle's hotel where he will deliver an early team talk before handing over to the highly rated, implicitly trusted, Carver.

"But interfering from the outside, I'm not sure that's the right thing to do. I'll watch the game with a video analyst and give the team my reflections on Tuesday. Maybe this will be a period of redemption for me." © 2014 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds

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