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For English nobles during the reign of Henry VIII the news that the king was coming to visit was a sure sign of impending ruin. In return for the honour of his company you could expect to see your house, farmland and local sewerage system trashed, pillaged and fatally bunged up, the royal party only moving on once all in its sights had been safely devastated.

During one nationwide procession in 1541 Henry stopped briefly at Hatfield and in the course of a “spectacular hunt” murdered 200 deer, a company of swans, two boats-full of assorted river birds and a trawler’s worth of fish. So yeah, cheers for that. Now, on my braves. We ride to Welwyn Garden City! It’s almost lunchtime.

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