A team that needs a big, fat, injection of celebrity appeal

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It’s been a while since we heard of a big-boned, oft-knee-knacked brilliant Brazilian with an appetite for saturated fat and high-farce in the bedroom, but last night The Ronaldo waddled his way to a press conference at USA! USA!! USA!!! NASL soccerballers The Fort Lauderdale Strikers with something to say. As assorted hacks gobbled their way through the buffet cart, having heard who would be in attendance, the specialist in fluid retention had some potentially big news for them. Yes, he would be making a comeback to the world of weight-loss.

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